Positive parenting idea of the day

Hitting, spanking, belittling, criticizing, are all roadblocks to developing empathy.

--Stephen J. Bavolek, Nurturing Skills for Families

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To share your own Positive Parenting Idea,

 reply to this e-mail and type in, “My Positive Parenting Idea” in the subject line.

To get the latest parenting books, videos, CDs and DVDs, click below:

http://ciccparenting.org/catalogmain.asp   (NEPI members receive a 10% discounts with NEPI member number)

To become a parenting instructor or leader, click below:

https://effectiveparentingusa.org/Become_an_Instructor.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright 2008 National Effective Parenting Initiative

All Rights Reserved.  Duplication permitted only with copyright, content and details unaltered. www.effectiveparentingusa.org

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The National Effective Parenting Initiative

6260 Laurel Canyon Blvd., Suite 304

North Hollywood, CA 91606  US

(800) 325 2422

 



Proud Mama To

Wyatt videos!

Proud Mama To

Why ASL?

Recently, parents, caregivers, and childcare professionals have started using sign language to communicate
with preverbal infants. Signing with babies is gaining popularity because it empowers children with early
communication skills and helps to significantly reduce frustration.
Currently, there are two schools of thought about what type of signs to use with babies. First, there are people
who advocate for the use of signs from an established, standardized sign language such as American Sign
Language (ASL). The SIGN with your BABY ® program is firmly based on ASL. There are others who feel that
signing is only useful for a short period of time in a child’s life; therefore, they feel that it is best for parents
to make up their own signs. These ‘home signs’ are made up of simple gestures or movements and are not
standardized, meaning that one person’s sign for ‘dog’ may be completely different from another person’s sign
for ‘dog’.
If you are investigating both of these approaches, we encourage you to read this document. It is a
collaborative statement prepared by Dr. Joseph Garcia and Northlight Communications, publishers of SIGN
with your BABY ®, with contributions from educators, parents, caregivers, and researchers. Together, we have
thoroughly investigated both methods and we have come to this unified conclusion:
There are compelling advantages to using standardized ASL signs!
Allow us to share with you some of our experiences, insights, and observations that have led us to become
such strong advocates for the use of standardized ASL signs in early communication programs for hearing
babies.
ASL signs Using                                                                             ASL signs with babies
• offer consistency                                                                  • facilitates social opportunities
• are easy to learn                                                                  • offers educational advantages
• are easy for babies to understand                                         • reinforces motor development milestones
• are widely known and easily accessible
• allow for creativity
In this position paper, we will discuss each of these advantages in detail and share with you some of the
reasons why so many parents and educators support the use of ASL in programs for young children.
Read more here




Proud Mama To

Insights from Early Childcare Professionals

Over the years, teachers have shared with us their joys of signing with the children in their care. Here
are some of the most frequent comments we hear.
• Signing empowers children because they can communicate successfully with those around them.
This sense of empowerment significantly contributes to babies’ happiness.
• Children spend less time crying and teachers spend less time playing “the guessing game,” allowing
more time for positive interaction.
• Signing enhances early language skills because children can engage in two-way conversations with
their teachers and their peers at an earlier age.
• Signing serves as a “language bridge” for children and staff who speak different languages-the sign is
the same for eat (English) as it is comer (Spanish).
• Children learn to use signs to solve problems. STOP and SHARE are commonly used signs that help
children learn to get along with one another.
• In signing classrooms, teachers report that there are fewer instances of biting and screaming because
children are less fr ustrated.
• Children can control the topic of conversation and express their unique interests at an earlier age.
This allows teachers to design learning activities that will enhance her children’s specific interests.
• Signing adds fun to daily routines and circle time and music activities.
• Signing facilitates home-school communication and helps parents get more involved in preschool
curriculum in a more meaningful way.
• Signing is appropriate for all preschool age groups (infants, toddlers, preschool, Pre-K) and it
facilitates visual/kinesthetic learning.
• The use of signs in the classroom creates opportunities for children with special needs to interact in a
more meaningful way with other children their age.
• Preschool-aged children use signs to help them understand and identify their emotions.



Proud Mama To

11 Tips for signing success

1. Choose 3-5 signs that are meaningful to you and your baby. Learn the signs and be
comfortable with using them (recommended 1st signs are “MORE”, “MILK” and
“EAT”)
2. Make the sign for the word as you say it. “You are cr ying! Do you want some
MILK?”
3. Make eye contact with your baby as you sign and make the sign as close to your face
as possible.
4. Until your baby starts signing back, you may want to repeat or slightly exaggerate the
motion used in the sign. Babies’ eyes are drawn toward movement.
5. Babies learn through repetition. Invite family members, childcare providers and
friends to sign with you.
6. Never pressure babies to sign or make them feel that you are disappointed when they
don’t sign. Just keep signing and be patient.
7. When your baby does sign back, affirm that you understand - and congratulate your
baby on her/his achievement!
8. Children will not always make the sign correctly. Accept your baby’s approximations
and continue to model the sign as it should be made. Eventually, most children will
learn to form the sign correctly.
9. Include signs in your life but don’t “force feed” or aggressively teach signs. Let
signing occur naturally. Resist the temptation to show-off your children or ask them
to display their ne w talents.
10.Make it FUN! Enjoy the deep sense of connection you will feel with your baby
when you begin to have meaningful two-way conversations.
11.BE PATIENT! Your baby will learn to sign, but at his/her own pace.



Proud Mama To

Recalls

This message consists of the following:

1. Reebok International Ltd. Recalls Exercise Cycles Due to Laceration Hazard

2. Remote-Controlled Helicopter Toys Recalled by Innovage Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

3. Cost Plus Recalls Santorini Chairs Due to Fall Hazard

4. Kids II Recalls Infant Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

5. Horseshoe Magnets Recalled by Dowling Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

6. Pacific Science Supplies Recalls Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

********************************************************

1. Reebok International Ltd. Recalls Exercise Cycles Due to Laceration Hazard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-340

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 382-3823
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Reebok International Ltd. Recalls Exercise Cycles Due to Laceration Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Reebok Studio Exercise Cycles

Units: About 20,000

Manufacturer: Fitness Associates Incorporated (F.A.I.), under license from Reebok International Ltd., of Canton, Mass. Note: F.A.I. is no longer in business.

Hazard: The alloy cranks on the exercise cycles can break during use, posing a laceration and abrasion hazard to users.

Incidents/Injuries: Reebok International Ltd. has received five reports of cranks breaking and causing lacerations. Three consumers required stitches.

Description: The Reebok Studio Cycle is an upright exercise bike used primarily in fitness centers and other institutional settings. The recalled bicycle is black with silver cranks. The unit has an internal belt drive. The base of the bicycle is a single piece that is welded to the frame. The legs are two straight horizontal bars with rounded edges. There is a logo located on the side of the exercise cycle that shows a person riding a bicycle.

Sold by: F.A.I. to health clubs and specialty fitness dealers nationwide from 1997 through 2000. The bicycles were not sold directly to consumers.

Manufactured in: United States

Remedy: Consumers should stop using the recalled Studio Cycle immediately, and owners should contact Reebok International Ltd. to receive a discount on a model currently made by a licensee of Reebok.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Reebok International Ltd. at (800) 382-3823 between 8:00 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.reebok.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08340.html

********************************************************

2. Remote-Controlled Helicopter Toys Recalled by Innovage Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-341

Firm's Recall Hotline: (866) 672-2630
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Remote-Controlled Helicopter Toys Recalled by Innovage Due to Fire and Burn Hazards

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: "Sky Scrambler" and "The Sharper Image" Wireless Indoor Helicopters

Units: About 685,000

Importer/Distributor: Innovage LLC, of Foothill Ranch, Calif.

Hazard: The rechargeable lithium ion battery inside the helicopters can overheat, catch fire, and ignite nearby combustibles, posing fire and burn hazards to consumers.

Incidents/Injuries: Innovage has received two reports of incidents of the toy helicopters igniting, including one burn injury to a consumer's fingertip.

Description: The "Sky Scrambler" and "The Sharper Image" toy helicopters have yellow, red or blue decals. BH26047 is printed on the Sky Scrambler's tail. "The Sharper Image" is printed on the tail of "The Sharper Image" helicopters.

Sold at: Mass merchandisers, department stores, drug stores, and other retail stores nationwide, and on the Web from June 2007 through May 2008 for about $20.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the recalled helicopters and contact Innovage for a full refund.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Innovage toll free at (866) 672-2630 between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. PT Monday through Friday, visit the firm's Web sites at www.innovage.net and www.copterrecall.org or email the firm at returns@copterrecall.org

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08341.html

********************************************************

3. Cost Plus Recalls Santorini Chairs Due to Fall Hazard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-342

Firm's Recall Hotline: (877) 967-5362
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Cost Plus Recalls Santorini Chairs Due to Fall Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Santorini Chairs

Units: About 8,600

Manufacturer: Cost Plus Inc., of Oakland, Calif.

Hazard: The seat weld can fail and allow the chair to collapse, posing a fall hazard to consumers.

Incidents/Injuries: Cost Plus has received reports of four incidents involving weld failure. No injuries have been reported.

Description: This recall involves Santorini outdoor stacking chairs. The black metal chairs have vertical bars on the back and horizontal bars across the base.

Sold at: Cost Plus and World Market stores nationwide from January 2008 through April 2008 for about $50.

Manufactured in: Taiwan

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the chairs with side weld joints (see below) and return them to any Cost Plus or World Market store for a full refund or exchange. Chairs with rear weld joints (see below) are not included in this recall. To identify if the chair is part of this recall consumers should locate the seat base weld on the underside of the chair. Weld joints located on the sides of the seat are included in this recall.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Cost Plus toll-free at (877) 967-5362 between 7 a.m. and 12 a.m. ET daily, or visit the firm's Web site at www.worldmarket.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08342.html

********************************************************

4. Kids II Recalls Infant Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-343

Firm's Recall Hotline: (877) 325-7056
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Kids II Recalls Infant Rattles Due to Choking Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Bright Starts Ring Rattles

Units: About 19,000

Distributor: Kids II Inc., of Alpharetta, Ga.

Hazard: The tip of the rattle's antenna, which is attached to a bee figure, can detach and pose a choking hazard to small children.

Incidents/Injuries: Kids II has received two reports of the tip of the antenna detaching from the rattle, including one report that the purple ball from the tip of the antenna was in the baby's mouth. No injuries have been reported.

Description: The soft toy rattle is a bee with a yellow head, ring-shaped green body, blue/green wings and purple/red antennas. Model number 8534 and date code PA8 are printed on a sewn-in label on the bee's head.

Sold at: Toy stores, mass merchandisers, and other retail stores nationwide from January 2008 through June 2008 for about $2-3.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately take the recalled rattles away from small children and contact Kids II to receive a free replacement rattle.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Kids II toll-free at (877) 325-7056 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.kidsii.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08343.html

********************************************************

5. Horseshoe Magnets Recalled by Dowling Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-344

Firm's Recall Hotline: (866) 623-3336
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Horseshoe Magnets Recalled by Dowling Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Classic Horseshoe Magnet

Units: About 91,500

Manufacturer: Dowling Magnets, of Sonoma, Calif.

Hazard: The plastic coating on the magnets contains excessive levels of lead, which violates the federal lead paint standard.

Incidents/Injuries: None reported.

Description: This recall involves the Classic Horseshoe Magnets. The 6-inch tall horseshoe magnet has a red plastic coating on the "handle" end. Each "foot" of the magnet has an engraved "S" or and "N."

Sold at: Specialty retail stores and educational supply distributors nationwide from March 2003 through April 2008 for about $10.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately take the classic horseshoe magnets away from children and contact Dowling Magnets to receive a free replacement horseshoe magnet.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Dowling Magnets toll-free at (866) 623-3336 between 7 a.m. and 4 p.m. PST Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.dowlingmagnets.com. Consumers can also email the firm at support@dowlingmagnets.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08344.html

********************************************************

6. Pacific Science Supplies Recalls Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 24, 2008
Release #08-345

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 530-1500
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Pacific Science Supplies Recalls Magnets Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: U-shaped Magnets, Bar Magnets, Magnet Sets and Magnet Needle Sets

Units: About 40,000

Importer: Pacific Science Supplies Inc., of Bensenville, Ill

Hazard: The paint on the magnets can contain excess levels of lead, violating the federal lead paint standard.

Incidents/Injuries: None reported.

Description: Magnets included in the recall:

"Large" and "Small" U-shaped Magnets: These magnets are in the shape of a "U" or horseshoe. One half of each magnet is painted red and is imprinted with the letter "N"; the other half is painted blue, and is imprinted with the letter "S".

"Large" and "Miniature" Bar Magnets: These magnets are in the shape of a bar. The magnets are painted half red and half white. The red half is imprinted with the letter "N" and the white half is imprinted with the letter "S".

Magnet Sets: This set contains a small u-shaped magnet, two small bar magnets, and two small compasses. All magnets are painted half red and half white. The red half is imprinted with the letter "N" and the white half is imprinted with the letter "S". The package is labeled "Magnets & Compasses."

Magnet Needle Sets: This set contains 10 sets of small cone-shape bases and elongated-diamond-shaped magnets which can be fastened into the bases. The magnets are painted half red and half white.

Sold through: Distributors nationwide which sell to educational institutions, including colleges, high schools and middle schools. A small number were sold through educational stores nationwide from April 2000 through February 2008 for about $9.

Manufactured in: China

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using these recalled magnets and contact the firm to receive a free replacement.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Pacific Science Supplies Inc. at (800) 530-1500 between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. CT Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.pacsciusa.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08345.html

********************************************************

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is charged with protecting the public from unreasonable risks of serious injury or death from more than 15,000 types of consumer products under the agency's jurisdiction. Deaths, injuries and property damage from consumer product incidents cost the nation more than $800 billion annually. The CPSC is committed to protecting consumers and families from products that pose a fire, electrical, chemical, or mechanical hazard or can injure children. The CPSC's work to ensure the safety of consumer products - such as toys, cribs, power tools, cigarette lighters, and household chemicals - contributed significantly to the 30 percent decline in the rate of deaths and injuries associated with consumer products over the past 30 years.

To report a dangerous product or a product-related injury, call CPSC's hotline at (800) 638-2772 or CPSC's teletypewriter at (800) 638-8270, or visit CPSC's web site at www.cpsc.gov/talk.html. To join a CPSC email subscription list, please go to www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.aspx. Consumers can obtain this release and recall information at CPSC's Web site at www.cpsc.gov.







Proud Mama To

Positive parenting idea of the day

Positive Parenting Idea of the Day

Being the Best Parent You Can Be…One Idea at a Time

Children do not naturally know right from wrong. You, the parent, must teach them proper behavior and basic decent human values.  You must use fair, clear, and firm leadership by example.

-- Kerby T. Alvy, The Positive Parent: Raising Healthy, Happy and Successful Children, Birth through Adolescence.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To share your own Positive Parenting Idea,

 reply to this e-mail and type in, “My Positive Parenting Idea” in the subject line.

To get the latest parenting books, videos, CDs and DVDs, click below:

http://ciccparenting.org/catalogmain.asp   (NEPI members receive a 10% discounts with NEPI member number)

To become a parenting instructor or leader, click below:

https://effectiveparentingusa.org/Become_an_Instructor.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright 2008 National Effective Parenting Initiative

All Rights Reserved.  Duplication permitted only with copyright, content and details unaltered. www.effectiveparentingusa.org

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The National Effective Parenting Initiative

6260 Laurel Canyon Blvd., Suite 304

North Hollywood, CA 91606  US

(800) 325 2422

 



Proud Mama To

Some Mothering.com articles

New Study Recognizes Mercury-Autism Biomarkers
According to a recent press release by the Coalition for Mercury-free Drugs (mercury-freedrugs.org), "A Prospective Study of Transsulfuration Biomarkers in Autistic Disorders," published in Neurochemical Research (July 2008), recognizes mercury susceptibility markers in patients diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder (ASD).
The study evaluated a number of children diagnosed with an ASD. After examining transsulfuration metabolites, the investigators concluded that the patients diagnosed with an ASD showed signs of increased oxidative stress and a decreased detoxification capacity, particularly for mercury. Because routine, clinically available lab testing was used in the study, the researchers suggest making this procedure a standard part of the diagnostic process.
Download the study for more information: www.usautism.org

---

GreenKidsAuction.com
At GreenKidsAuction.com, you can reduce, reuse, recycle, and save money on new or gently used toys and products for your wee ones. From bedding to toys to carriers and furniture, you can find a variety of items at a good price. Tell your friends, or join the online community to help make the world a little more sustainable.
www.greenkidsauction.com.

---

The Fight Continues in Missouri
On June 26, 2008, the Missouri Supreme Court declared that professional midwives can now assist births within the state. Due to lack of validity of their arguments, physicians' attempts to block the law were dismissed by the Court. This is excellent news for mothers who have had to either have illegal homebirths or birth in a different state to avoid unnecessary medical procedures.
In response, the coalition of physician groups that tried to block the legislation began a smear campaign suggesting that midwives would be able to perform abortions.
The group Citizens for Midwifery used the following quote in a recent press release:
"To suggest that CPMs [Certified Professional Midwives] are trained to do abortions—or that they would even want to—is beyond the pale. CPMs are all about delivering babies?abortion is not within their scope of practice. Abortions are performed by obstetricians, not by midwives," said Mary Ueland, grassroots coordinator for Friends of Missouri Midwives (FOMM).
"This interpretation is incorrect and obviously so," stated Susan Jenkins, legal counsel for the National Birth Policy Coalition and a member of the legal team for FOMM. "The new law clearly references the federal Medicaid statutes to define the scope of practice for which CPMs are certified and, as everyone knows, the federal Medicaid program does not cover abortion, except under rare circumstances as defined by the Hyde Amendment. More importantly, CPMs are not certified to provide abortions by their certifying body, the North American Registry of Midwives, and this statute is directly linked to CPMs' certified scope of practice. The basic certification of CNMs does not include abortion either."
You can read the release in its entirety here: www.friendsofmomidwives.org

---

Artificial Colors Increase Hyperactivity in Children
The Lancet released a study that found that artificial colors and sodium benzoate increase hyperactivity in three-year-olds and in eight- to nine-year-olds.
The study included 153 three-year-olds and 144 eight- and nine-year-olds. The challenge drinks contained one of two artificial food color additives (Mix A, Mix B) and sodium benzoate. Mix A and B were compared with the placebo mix. The outcomes were measured by a global hyperactivity aggregate (GHA), scores based on parent and teacher observations, and for eight- and nine-year-olds, a computerized attention test.
Mix A significantly increased hyperactivity among the three-year-olds when compared with placebo, although this was not so with Mix B. Eight- and nine-year-old children experienced a significant increase in hyperactive behavior when given Mix A or Mix B. You can read more here: www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article




Proud Mama To

Recalls

This message consists of the following:

1. Indoor Lighting Fixtures Recalled by Lithonia Lighting Due to Fire Hazard

2. It's MY Binky Recalls Personalized Pacifiers Due to Choking Hazard

3. Electra Bicycle Company Recalls Amsterdam Bicycles; Chain Can Derail and Pose Injury Risk to Riders

********************************************************

1. Indoor Lighting Fixtures Recalled by Lithonia Lighting Due to Fire Hazard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 22, 2008
Release #08-335

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 315-4935
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Indoor Lighting Fixtures Recalled by Lithonia Lighting Due to Fire Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Indoor Lighting Fixtures

Units: About 1,200

Manufacturer/Distributor: Lithonia Lighting, of Conyers, Ga.

Hazard: A thermal protector could be missing from the lighting fixtures, posing a risk of overheating and fire.

Incidents/Injuries: None reported.

Description: The recalled fixture is a ceiling-mounted downlight. Model number LV3R is included in this recall and is printed on a UL label inside the light's housing.

Sold at: Electrical distributors and electrical sales representatives nationwide from April 2007 through May 2008 for between $60 and $80.

Manufactured in: United States

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the lighting fixtures and contact Lithonia Lighting to arrange for a free replacement fixture.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Lithonia Lighting at (800) 315-4935 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.lithonia.com

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08335.html

********************************************************

2. It's MY Binky Recalls Personalized Pacifiers Due to Choking Hazard

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 22, 2008
Release #08-336

Firm's Recall Hotline: (888) 689-9444
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

It's MY Binky Recalls Personalized Pacifiers Due to Choking Hazard

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: It's My Binky's Personalized Pacifiers

Units: About 115,000

Importer: It's My Binky, of Henderson, Nev.

Hazard: The pacifier button, ring handle and shield with nipple can detach, posing a choking hazard to infants.

Incidents/Injuries: It's My Binky has received two reports of the pacifier button, ring handle and shield with nipple detaching. No injuries have been reported.

Description: The recalled pacifiers have "Japlo" imprinted on the front of the pacifier shield at the bottom, center. The pacifiers were sold in blue, white and pink with various words or designs printed on the button of the pacifier. Examples of text and symbols printed on recalled Japlo pacifiers include but are not limited to the following:

BLUE (pacifier w/text)
Image of a skull (no text)
stud muffin
prince charming
my mom rocks
mute button
my dad rocks
momma's boy
insomniac
future ceo
little monster
flirt
bad to the bone

WHITE (pacifier w/text)
image of a skull (no text)
stud muffin
prince charming
princess
my mom rocks
mute button
little monster
future ceo
daddy's girl
born to shop

PINK (pacifier w/text)
spoiled
princess
my mom rocks
mute button
my dad rocks
insomniac
future ceo
flirt
daddy's girl
born to shop

Sold at: Nordstrom and baby boutique retail stores nationwide and online at www.itsmybinky.com from February 2006 through June 2008 for between $5 and $6.

Manufactured in: Malaysia

Remedy: Consumers should immediately take these pacifiers away from children and return them to the store where purchased or contact the firm if purchased online to receive a free replacement pacifier.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact It's My Binky toll-free at (888) 689-9444 between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday PT or visit the firm's website at www.itsmybinky.com or e-mail Danielle Riiber at Danielle@itsmybinky.com

Media Contact: Danielle Riiber at (702) 622-6261.

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08336.html

********************************************************

3. Electra Bicycle Company Recalls Amsterdam Bicycles; Chain Can Derail and Pose Injury Risk to Riders

NEWS from CPSC
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 22, 2008
Release #08-337

Firm's Recall Hotline: (800) 261-1644
CPSC Recall Hotline: (800) 638-2772
CPSC Media Contact: (301) 504-7908

Electra Bicycle Company Recalls Amsterdam Bicycles; Chain Can Derail and Pose Injury Risk to Riders

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Name of Product: Amsterdam Bicycles

Units: About 9,500

Importer: Electra Bicycle Company, LLC of Vista, Calif.

Hazard: The interior alignment tabs of the bicycle's chainguard can be pushed against the chain causing it to derail, which poses a risk of injury to riders.

Incidents/Injuries: Electra has received four reports of the chainguard derailing the chain, including one report of minor cuts and abrasion from a fall.

Description: This recall involves some Amsterdam model bicycles in the Classic 3, Original 3, Royal 8, and Sport 3 styles. The bicycles have an enclosed chainguard. "Electra" and "Amsterdam" are printed on the bicycle's frame and/or chainguard. Bicycles with frame numbers beginning with "F06" or "EL" or bicycles with chainguards marked "06/08" are not included in this recall. The frame number is located on the underside of the bottom bracket.

Sold by: Authorized Electra Bicycle dealers nationwide from January 2007 through June 2008 for between $400 and $850.

Manufactured in: Taiwan

Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop riding the recalled bicycle and bring it to an Electra Bicycle dealer for a free inspection and replacement chainguard part.

Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Electra Bicycle at (800) 261-1644 between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. PT Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at www.electrabike.com (pdf)

To see this recall on CPSC's web site, including pictures of the recalled product, please go to: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08337.html

********************************************************

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission is charged with protecting the public from unreasonable risks of serious injury or death from more than 15,000 types of consumer products under the agency's jurisdiction. Deaths, injuries and property damage from consumer product incidents cost the nation more than $800 billion annually. The CPSC is committed to protecting consumers and families from products that pose a fire, electrical, chemical, or mechanical hazard or can injure children. The CPSC's work to ensure the safety of consumer products - such as toys, cribs, power tools, cigarette lighters, and household chemicals - contributed significantly to the 30 percent decline in the rate of deaths and injuries associated with consumer products over the past 30 years.

To report a dangerous product or a product-related injury, call CPSC's hotline at (800) 638-2772 or CPSC's teletypewriter at (800) 638-8270, or visit CPSC's web site at www.cpsc.gov/talk.html. To join a CPSC email subscription list, please go to www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.aspx. Consumers can obtain this release and recall information at CPSC's Web site at www.cpsc.gov.







Proud Mama To

Budget Passes - What's Included for the Autism Community?Budget Passes - What's Included for the Autism Community?

The budget has been passed by the General Assembly and signed by the Governor. Your calls and emails on behalf of legislation to support individuals with autism and their families have made a difference. Thanks to your advocacy with legislators, the Autism Society of North Carolina’s (ASNC) 2008 legislative priorities are included in the budget. The state budget includes funding for: CAP MR/DD Tier One Waiver Slots: Beginning November 2008, this funding will add additional Tier One Waiver slots statewide. This waiver slot allocation includes Piedmont Behavioral Health Care, (the Local Management Entity (LME) that serves Cabarrus, Davidson, Rowan, Stanly and Union counties). **As an aside, the proposed services to be available in the new Tiered Waivers beginning on November 8, can be viewed by clicking here. The Division of Mental Health will accept comments on these through August 17, 2008.  Instructions for comments can be found on the above link. START Crisis Model for Developmental Disabilities: (Systemic, Therapeutic, Assessment, Respite and Treatment) These funds will establish six crisis teams to support individuals with developmental disabilities experiencing crisis. This funding also provides support for 12 crisis respite beds across the state. Autism Early Intervention: This funding covers direct early intervention services in three model programs and the Society's statewide training for parents and professionals. Housing 400 Initiative-Housing Trust Fund: This funding finances independent and supportive living apartments for individuals with disabilities. Supportive Services for HUD 811 Project: This funding provides start-up and operating expenses for 6 two-bedroom and 19 one-bedroom apartments located in Wake, Mecklenburg, Rowan and Buncombe County and financed through HUD. School Services for Students with Disabilities: This funding provides additional money to school districts for special education and related services for students with identified disabilities. Beyond Academics: Intellectual Disability Transition Program: This funding supports Beyond Academics, a non-degree university-based program for students with developmental disabilities. Autism Spectrum Disorder and Public Safety: This legislation addresses the need for autism specific training for law enforcement, judicial and court personnel. It also removes the age limit on the State's Silver Alert system. In addition, Special provisions direct: * The Institute of Medicine to study the barriers and best practices for transitions for persons with developmental disabilities.     * The Division of MH/DD/SAS to develop a plan to return CAP MR/DD authorizations and utilization management to the LME’s. A statewide utilization vendor, Value Options, currently completes authorizations. * DHHS and DPI  to determine each agency's responsibility when  a child is in a private residential treatment center.  * School Violence Prevention Act- the Bullying Bill. This bill did not pass. Now is the time for that all important thank you letter ( call, email or visit ).   There are many legislators who deserve our appreciation for their hard work during this session. They receive many calls asking for their support; they receive many less calls thanking them when that support is given... Please contact your representatives in the General Assembly and thank them for their efforts to support individuals with autism and their families in our state.

Next Steps - What Can You Do?

Send an email or make a call to any and all Senators and Representatives that you contacted during the session.

In addition, contact the key leaders listed below who went above and beyond on our behalf. If you live in their district, make sure you identify yourself as a constituent. Tell them your connection to autism and how the actions they took will help your child and your family.

Here are the key Senators to contact. (Click on their name to send an email):

Sen. Linda Garrou, 919–733- 5620; (Sen. Garrou represents Forsyth County). Sen. Garrou was the chief sponsor and strong advocate for the  Autism Early Intervention Bill  and the  2006 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Sen. William R. Purcell, 919-733-5953; (Sen.Purcell represents Anson, Richmond, Stanly, and Scotland Counties). Sen. Purcell is the 2007 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Sen. Marc Basnight, 919-733-6854; (Sen. Basnight represents Beaufort, Camden, Currituck, Dare, Hyde, Pasquotank, Tyrrell, and Washington Counties) Sen. Basnight is the President Pro tem of the Senate

Sen. Doug Berger, 919-715-8363; (Sen. Berger represents Franklin, Granville, Vance, and Warren Counties).

Sen. Charlie S. Dannelly, 919-733-5955; (Sen. Dannelly represents Mecklenburg County).

Sen. Charles W. Albertson, 919-733-5705; (Sen. Albertson represents Duplin, Lenoir, and Sampson Counties).

Sen. Kay R. Hagan, 919-733-5856; (Sen. Hagan represents Guilford County). Sen. Hagan is the 2005 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Sen. Martin L. Nesbitt, Jr., 919-715-3001; ( Sen. Nesbitt represents Buncombe County) Sen. Nesbitt is the Co-Chair of the Joint Legislative Oversight Committee for MH/DD/SAS.

Here are key Representatives to contact. (Click on their name to send an email):

Rep. James W. Crawford, Jr., 919-733-5824; (Rep. Crawford represents Granville and Vance Counties) Rep. Crawford is the chief sponsor for the Autism Early Intervention Bill in the House and is the 2007 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Rep. Beverly M. Earle, 919-715-2530; (Rep. Earle represents Mecklenburg County)

Rep. Rick Glazier, 919-733-5601; (Rep. Glazier represents Cumberland County)

Rep. Jeff Barnhart, 919-715-2009; (Rep. Barnhardt represents Cabarrus County) Rep. Barnhardt is the 2006 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Rep. Bob England, 919-733-5749; (Rep. England represents Cleveland and Rutherford Counties)

Rep. Martha Alexander, 919-733-5807; (Rep. Alexander represents Mecklenburg County) Rep. Alexander is the 2000 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

Rep. Verla Insko, 919-733-7208; (Rep. Insko represents Orange County) Rep. Insko is the Co Chair of the Joint Legislative Oversight Committee on MH/DD/SAS.

Rep. R. Phillip Haire, 919-715-3005; (Rep. Haire represents Haywood, Jackson, Macon, and Swain Counties).

Rep. Maggie Jeffus, 919-733-5191; (Rep. Jeffus represents Guilford County)

Rep. Alma Adams, 919-733-5902; (Rep. Adams represents Guilford County).

Rep. Joe P. Tolson, 919-715-3024; (Rep. Tolson represents Edgecombe and Wilson Counties).

Rep. Douglas Y. Yongue, 919-733-5821; (Rep.Yongue represents Hoke, Robeson, and Scotland Counties).

Rep. Henry M. Michaux, Jr., 919-715-2528; (Rep. Michaux represents Durham County).

Rep. Bill Owens, 919-733-0010; (Rep. Owens represents Camden, Currituck, Pasquotank, and Tyrrell Counties).

Rep. Hugh Holliman, 919-715-0873; (Rep. Holliman represents Davidson County) Rep. Holliman is the House Majority Leader.

Rep. Joe Hackney, 919-733-3451; (Rep. Hackney represents Chatham, Moore, and Orange Counties) Rep. Hackney is the Speaker of the House.

Rep. Melanie Wade Goodwin, 919-733-5823; (Rep. Goodwin represents Montgomery and Richmond Counties) Rep. Goodwin is the 2007 ASNC Legislator of the Year.

We will be planning some legislative thank you events through out the state later this summer and will let you know how you can be involved.

Thanks for all your support during his session.

Sincerely,

The Autism Society of North Carolina

Proud Mama To

I deserve ICE CREAM!

So over at Moms in a Blog,they are having a contest to win ICE CREAM!!!!

I sure could use some free ice cream! Why you ask? Well, let's see. I just stood by my friend as her marriage broke apart for about 2 months. Luckily, they made up, or I would have had to kill him! My oldest son's ADHD is causing him to be very angry and unsure of how to deal with a lot of emotions. I think I go to bed crying nightly, because I feel like I am failing him. My daughter may have ASD. This in itself was almost enough to send me over the edge!

The baby keeps getting sick. Fever after fever! A UTI, brochitis, sinus infections, ear infections that take months to go away...and I could go on.

And of course, a husband who does not understand WHY I ask him for a few hour alone every once in a while. Who thinks that is it OK to tell my kids that I am going out with friends because I can't handle them! UGH

Yea, so a quart or 2 of some chocolate peanut butter ice cream, kind of like this



Would be HEAVEN!! I don't need first place, lol, heck, even if someone sent me one quart, I would be all kinds of happy!





Proud Mama To

Going back to work...

    


Are you contemplating going back to work after being a stay-at-home mom for a while?  Many women I work with are worried about what their future employer will think about their absence from the work force while they were "just being a mom."

But for many, the hardest part of the transition is leaving some of their family duties behind.  They’re used to your kids' schedule dictating their day, and accommodating their various crises, moods, and social calendars.  After years of chasing kids around, it can feel like an imposition to have to show up somewhere on time, maybe even have to wear pantyhose on a regular basis, and cater to deadlines that have nothing to do with their family's needs and desires.

On the other hand, some women find that change of pace refreshing.  You may or may not enjoy returning to that kind of routine.  Whichever side you're on, it can be intimidating to dust off your resume, squeeze into a suit, and hit the interview circuit again, so I came up with some tips to help make the transition a little bit more organized.

1. The first thing to do is to be very clear about why you are going to work, what you need to earn, and what schedule will work for you.  Where can you be flexible?  What can't be compromised?  It's a lot easier to think about the big things ahead of time than to squeeze them in later.  You may find out that you won't earn enough to make it worth your while.  Or you may realize that the job you prefer pays enough to take it instead of one with a higher salary and less attractive working conditions.

2. Don't feel that the company who offers you a position is doing you a favor just because you have been out of the workforce a while.  Think about what skills you bring to the position.  And while it's true that moms do need employers to be flexible in case of illness, school events, and other important family concerns, working moms with flexible and supportive employers are incredibly loyal, which is a big plus for the company.

3. Most moms returning to the work force worry about the gap in their resume.  But you don't have to organize your resume by date, which emphasizes gaps.  You can organize your resume by types of positions, for example.  Don't lie, but don't get defensive about the time you've spent raising your children.  And include what you've been doing while you've been a Stay-at-Home Mom.  Did you organize events for your MOMS club?  Plan a fundraising dinner for your friend's charity?  Draft a letter for your homeowners' association?

4. Talk to your spouse and find out what his concerns are.  Is he pushing you to take a job that will pay more but be less flexible?  Be specific about how this will affect him.  He may have to leave his job early to pick up the kids, or stay home at times when they are sick.  Or is he reluctant for you to return to work?  Can he add some overtime at his job so you can stay home?  Whatever his concerns, it's better to get them out in the open now than after you've committed to a position.  Get on the same page so you are working toward the same goal.

5. Talk to your kids.  But only tell them what they need to know, which is how it will affect them.  "Two days a week, other moms are going to drive carpool.  I'll pick you up from their house an hour after you get there, so if you do your homework, you can play when you get home."  The best bet is to be home when your kids are home.  They won’t care what you’re doing while they’re at school as long as you’re there for them.

6. Help is available.  Alums can often get help from their alma mater's career center for free.  I can't overemphasize networking to let those you know, and who know how terrific you are, help you find a great job at the right company.  Professional organizations in your field are great places to network and often have job listings or leads.  And have a plan based on what you can control.  For example, set goals for the number of calls or networking meetings you make, as opposed to setting goals based on results.

7. Practice interviewing with a friend.  Tell her the questions you’re worried about and prepare some answers.  Then, practice saying them in a conversational, non-defensive, tone.

8. If working outside the home doesn't work, be willing to change jobs, look for work you can do at home, or return to being a homemaker full time.

Good luck! 



Proud Mama To

The Bully

The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander
The Bully
 Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big; some are small; some bright and some not so bright; some attractive and some not so attractive; some popular and some disliked by almost everybody.

      Bullying is a conscious, willful and deliberate hostile activity, intended to harm. The four markers of bullying are:

      1.  An imbalance of power

      2.  Intent to harm

      3.  Threat of further aggression

      4.  When bullying escalates unabated—terror

      Bullying is not about anger, or even about conflict. It's about contempt—a powerful feeling of dislike toward someone considered to be worthless, inferior or undeserving of respect. Contempt comes with three apparent psychological advantages that allow kids to harm others without feeling empathy, compassion or shame. These are:

      1.  A sense of entitlement—the right to control, dominate, subjugate, and abuse another human being

      2.  An intolerance toward difference

      3.  A liberty to exclude—to bar, isolate, and segregate a person deemed not worthy of respect or care

      Adults sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between teasing, which is normal social interaction, and taunting, which is a form of bullying. The differences are:

Teasing

      1.  Allows the teaser and person teased to swap roles

      2.  Isn't intended to hurt the other person

      3.  Maintains the basic dignity of everyone involved

      4.  Pokes fun in a lighthearted, clever, and benign way

      5.  Is meant to get both parties to laugh

      6.  Is only a small part of the activities shared by kids who have something in common

      7.  Is innocent in motive

      8.  Is discontinued when person teased becomes upset or objects to the teasing

 Taunting

      1.  Is based on an imbalance of power and is one-sided: the bully taunts, the bullied kid is taunted

      2.  Is intended to harm

      3.  Involves humiliating, cruel, demeaning, or bigoted comments thinly disguised as jokes

      4.  Includes laughter directed at the target, not with the target

      5.  Is meant to diminish the sense of self-worth of the target

      6.  Induces fear of further taunting or can be a prelude to physical bullying

      7.  Is sinister in motive

      8.  Continues especially when targeted kid becomes distressed or objects to the taunt

 Seven steps to stop bullying

      1.  Discipline (including the three Rs: restitution, resolution, reconciliation)

      2.  Create opportunities to "do good"

      3.  Nurture empathy

      4.  Teach friendship skills

      5.  Closely monitor TV viewing, video games and computer activities

      6.  Engage in more constructive, entertaining, energizing activities

      7.  Teach ways to "will good"

The Bullied

The one thing that all kids who are bullied have in common is that a bully or a bunch of bullies has targeted them. Each one was singled out to be the object of scorn, and thus the recipient of bullying, merely because he or she was different in some way.

      The warning signs that a child is a victim of bullying are:

      1.    Shows an abrupt lack of interest in school, or refuses to go to school

      2.    Takes an unusual route to school

      3.    Suffers a drop in grades

      4.    Withdraws from family and school activities

      5.    Is hungry after school

      6.    Steals money from home

      7.    Makes a beeline to the bathroom when arriving home

      8.    Is sad, sullen, angry, or scared after receiving a phone call or email

      9.    Does something out of character

      10.  Has torn or missing clothing

      11.  Uses derogatory or demeaning language when talking about peers

      12.  Stops talking about peers and everyday activities

      13.  Has physical injuries not consistent with explanation

      14.  Has stomachaches, headaches, panic attacks, is unable to sleep, sleeps too much, is exhausted

      15.  Plays alone, or prefers to hang with adults

      Kids don't tell adults they are being bullied because:

      1.  They are ashamed of being bullied

      2.  They are afraid of retaliation

      3.  They don't think anyone can help them

      4.  They don't think anyone will help them

      5.  They've bought into the lie that bullying is a necessary part of growing up

      6.  They might believe that adults are part of the lie—they bully, too

      7.  They have learned that "ratting" on a peer is bad, not cool

 If your child is bullied, don't:

      1.  Minimize, rationalize, or explain away the bully's behavior

      2.  Rush in to solve the problem for your child

      3.  Tell your child to avoid the bully

      4.  Tell your child to fight back

      5.  Confront the bully or the bully's parents alone

 If your child is bullied, do:

      1.  Say "I hear you; I am here for you; I believe in you; you are not alone in this."

      2.  Say "It is not your fault."

      3.  Say "There are things you can do."

      4.  Report the bullying to school personnel

      The four most powerful antidotes to bullying are:

      1.  A strong sense of self

      2.  Being a friend

      3.  Having at least one good friend who is there for you through thick and then

      4.  Being able to successfully get into a group—and get out when it does not serve you well

     

Parents should report the bullying incident in the following manner:

      1.  Arrange a meeting for you and your child with the appropriate person at the school

      2.  Bring to the meeting the facts in writing—the date, time, place, kids involved, and the specifics of the incidents—and the  impact the bullying has had on your child as well as what your child has done to try to stop the bullying that didn't work

      3.  Work with your child and school personnel on a plan that addresses what your child needs right now in order to feel safe, what she can do to avoid being bullied and to stand up to any future bullying, and whom she can go to for help

      4.  Find out what procedures the bully will be going through and what kind of support the school is expecting from the parents of the bully

      5.  If you feel the problem is not being adequately addressed by the school, know that you can express your concerns and let the teacher and/or administrator know that you will take the next step to the school district board office and if necessary—especially in the cases of serious abuse and racist or sexist bullying—to the police.

      Schools have a clear role in preventing and stopping bullying. A caring school:

      1.  Gathers information about bullying at school directly from students

      2.  Establishes clear school wide and classroom rules about bullying

      3.  Trains all adults in the school to respond sensitively and consistently to bullying

      4.  Provides adequate adult supervision, particularly in less structured areas, such as on the playground and in the lunchroom

      5.  Improves parental awareness of and involvement in working on the problem.

The Bystander

      Bystanders are the third group of players in this tragedy. They are the supporting cast who aid and abet the bully, through acts of omission and commission. They stand idly by or look away, or they can actively encourage the bully or join in and become one of a bunch of bullies. Injustice overlooked or ignored becomes a contagion that infects even those who thought they could turn away.

      Bullying is challenged when the majority stands up against the cruel acts of the minority. Establishing new norms, enforcing playground rules, and increasing supervision are policy decisions that can help reduce the incidents of bullying. Since much of the bullying goes on "under the radar of adults," a potent force is kids themselves showing bullies that they will not be looked up to, nor will their cruel behavior be condoned or tolerated. Kids need not by bystanders. They can become active witnesses, standing up for their peers, speaking out against injustices, and taking responsibility for what happened among themselves.

      With care and commitment, adults can rechannel the behaviors of the bully into positive leadership activities; acknowledge the nonaggressive behaviors of the bullied child as strengths that can be developed and are honored; and transform the role of the bystander into that of a witness, someone willing to stand up, speak out, and act against injustice. A daunting task, but a necessary one.

Helping Teenagers with Stress

 The following information comes from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/66.htm.

 Physiology of Stress

      Some teens become overloaded with stress. When it happens, inadequately managed stress can lead to anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, physical illness, or poor coping skills such as drug and/or alcohol use.  When we perceive a situation as difficult or painful, changes occur in our minds and bodies to prepare us to respond to danger. This "fight, flight, or freeze" response includes faster heart and breathing rate, increased blood to muscles of arms and legs, cold or clammy hands and feet, upset stomach and/or a sense of dread.

      The same mechanism that turns on the stress response can turn it off. As soon as we decide that a situation is no longer dangerous, changes can occur in our minds and bodies to help us relax and calm down. This "relaxation response" includes decreased heart and breathing rate and a sense of well-being. Teens that develop a "relaxation response" and other stress management skills feel less helpless and have more choices when responding to stress.

      Parents can help their teens in these ways:

      ▪Monitor if stress is affecting their teen's health, behavior, thoughts, or feelings

      ▪Listen carefully to teens and watch for overloading

      ▪Learn and model stress management skills

      ▪Support involvement in sports and other pro-social activities

      Teens can decrease stress with the following behaviors and techniques:

      ▪Exercise and eat regularly

      ▪Avoid excess caffeine intake which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation

      ▪Avoid illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco

      ▪Learn relaxation exercises (abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques)

      ▪Develop assertiveness training skills. For example, state feelings in polite, firm and not overly aggressive or passive ways ("I feel angry when you yell at me" "Please stop yelling.")

      ▪Rehearse and practice situations which cause stress, such as giving a speech..

      ▪Learn practical coping skills. For example, break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.

      ▪Decrease negative self-talk: challenge negative thoughts about yourself with alternative neutral or positive thoughts. "My life will never get better" can be transferred into "I may feel hopeless now, but my life will probably get better if I work at it and get some help."

      ▪Learn to feel good about doing a competent or "good enough" job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others.

      ▪Take a break from stressful situations. Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.

      ▪Build a network of friends who help you cope in a positive way.

Tattling vs. Reporting

“He called me a name!”-“She cut in front of me in line!”-“They threatened me!”

Surely, in this day and age, we want children to tell us when someone is breaking a rule, someone is getting hurt, or something dangerous is happening.  However, we want to avoid sending our children a mixed message.  Sometimes, when a child tells an adult what is going on, the child’s information may be categorized as tattling.

What is your definition of tattling?  According to Macmillan Dictionary, to tattle is “to reveal the secrets, activities, or private affairs of another.” Children tattle for countless reasons:  to get attention (negative or positive), to feel like they are better than someone else, to get someone in trouble, to get someone else to solve their own problems (ex. who gets to watch which program on TV), etc.  Nevertheless, it is extremely important for your child to learn when to tell an adult immediately and when to try and solve the problem on his/her own.

Sometimes “telling” can help prevent something tragic from happening at home or at school.  How can we encourage kids to tell us when they are truly afraid or someone is in danger, and yet not hear about it every single time a child “cuts” in line or “looks at him/her funny.”  What is the difference between “telling” an adult and “tattling” to an adult?

Frequently, the very thing a tattletale says is, “I’m telling...!” So, after careful research and consideration I have changed my focus from distinguishing between "Tattling versus Telling” to “Tattling versus Reporting.”   This is how I explain the difference: 

 “You have probably all seen reporters on television telling us about important world events, and have all read articles written by newspaper reporters about things happening in our world.  YOU, too, can BE a REPORTER!  At home and at school, when you see something newsworthy you have the right and the responsibility to “report” it to an adult.  To determine the difference between tattling and reporting, just answer these three short questions:

     (1) Is someone’s BODY getting hurt or something dangerous happening?

     (2) Are someone’s FEELINGS really getting hurt?

     (3) Is someone’s PROPERTY getting damaged?  

If your answer is YES to one or more of these questions, it is your job to be a “reporter” and tell an adult right away!”

Through different mediums, your child has learned about tattling and reporting at school.  In real situations at home, you can reinforce this skill by asking your child these three questions.  For example, when a child comes to you and tells you that a sibling  “... won’t let me watch my television program,” ask your child those three questions (body, feelings, property).  If their answer is NO, encourage your child to further ask themselves: 

     (A) Am I telling to get this person in trouble (tattling) or to help the person (reporting)

     (B) Have I done everything I can do to help? (Problem-solving). 

Then talk with your child to problem-solve and determine what they can try before they come to you to solve their problem.  Please, make no mistake; the purpose of this article certainly is not to discourage children from going to adult when they genuinely need an adult’s help.  If your child is being bullied or harassed we encourage him/her and you to find  help.  Rather, these three questions can empower your child to take responsibility for trying to solve their problems first (unless body, feelings, or property are at stake).  In doing so, your child will develop lifelong problem-solving skills that will make them more successful in life.  Perhaps even more importantly, the child-parent and child-teacher interactions that result from such an exchange are a lot more positive and productive than the reactions incurred by the adult solving the child’s problem for them over and over again.

Proud Mama To