Happy Birthday America!

Proud Mama To

This has always been a favorite!

I LOVED YOU ENOUGH…



Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I will tell them:



* I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you would get home.
* I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your money that we could afford and you couldn’t.
* I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your hand-picked friend was a creep.
* I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drug store and confess, “I stole this.”
* I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me fifteen minutes.
* I loved you enough to say, “Yes, you can go to Disney World on mother’s day.”
* I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust, and tears in my eyes.
* I loved you enough not to make excuses for your lack of respect or your bad manners.
* I loved you enough to admit I was wrong and ask your forgiveness.
* I loved you enough to ignore “what every other mother” did or said.
* I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt and fail.
* I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your own actions, at six, ten, or sixteen.
* I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned, but forgive you for it…after discovering I was right.
* I loved you enough to shove you off my lap, let go of your hand, be mute to your pleas…so that you had to stand alone.
* I loved you enough to accept you for who you are, not what I wanted you to be.
* But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.




Proud Mama To

Signs of Intelligence

I had signed with my day care children for many years and my older two children at a young age, but not as much as I should have, apparently. When my son was born in February 2007, the research was very prevailing, and I wanted to give him the advantage from birth. At 16 months, he now has 70 words, 34 are signs and 36 are spoken. Ten 2 word signed sentences, and 13 spoken 2 word sentences. He produced his first sign younger than 6 months of age.

Like an increasing number of parents, I wanted to make the most of my infant's natural urge to communicate — capitalizing on a window of opportunity in which infant’s gesture long before they talk. Such gesturing is a natural part of any baby's development. Even without prompting, a baby offered food when he is not hungry might shake his head vigorously; a baby whose mother leaves the house might wave her hand.

By actively teaching their pre-verbal babies to express themselves with sign language, parents are taking such gesturing a step further. For example, babies could learn to ask for a book by placing their hands together (palm to palm) and then opening the hands while maintaining contact between the pinkie fingers or to ask for food by rubbing their tummies. (Some baby-signing programs recommend using only gestures from American Sign Language; others believe children should be allowed to create their own gestures.) Babies exposed to true ASL signs regularly from an early age can generally begin using them effectively by 6 or 9 months or younger — even before they can say them, much sooner than those that use mere gestures.

Advocates of ASL believe that its signs are easy for babies to learn and that it offers the additional benefit of being widely known and understood. You want your child to learn another language correctly, just as you want them to speak correctly. You would not teach your baby made up words for things, so why would you want to teach them made up signs? Look for programs that only use ASL, if you want your child to have the highest level of benefits.

Signing provides children with far more than just rudimentary communication skills. Signing can improve a baby's intellect, increase self-esteem and happiness, reduce fussiness and temper tantrums, improve problem-solving skills, and help toddlers get along better with each other. It also strengthens the bond between parent and child, as you are able to communicate effectively with your baby. Signing has also been proven to enhance early language and literacy skills, enabling children to speak sooner and develop larger vocabularies. Some even attribute significant increases in IQ to early signing.

Signing with children with special needs is also very beneficial. Since many children with special needs will have trouble speaking for quite some time, teaching them to sign will lessen the chances of tantrums and frustration (on both sides!). There have been many parents with special needs children, especially those with children with Downs Syndrome, Autism, and Apraxia, saying their child learned to sign and all of a sudden had a language explosion, much sooner than they would be expected to.

Research conclusively indicates that babies who sign tend to have a stronger command of verbal language and often begin speaking at an earlier age than babies who do not sign. Countless parents and caregivers have confirmed these findings with their personal experiences and observations. In addition, many Speech-Language professionals, pediatricians, and educators are supporting the use of signs to encourage early language development.

A study funded by the National Institutes of Health and reported in 2000 endorsed the contention that signing yielded verbal benefits. "The study showed signing facilitates learning to talk," says Linda Acredolo, a professor emeritus of psychology at UC Davis and the report's coauthor. Until age 3, children who had been instructed in signing had an advantage over non-signing children in language development. “The study also found that signing offers an intellectual advantage," says Acredolo. At 8 years, children who were taught to sign were found to have IQs 12 points higher than their non-signing counterparts. The study's authors offer a variety of theories for this apparent benefit. They suggest that the observed IQ advantage associated with signing might be the result of "jump-starting" a baby's intellectual development. They also speculate that the social and emotional benefits of signing, such as higher self-confidence, can have long-term effects on IQ.

When looking for a sign class for your child, make sure to look for the following items:

-ASL background of the instructor(s)

-The program is American Sign Language based, and not mere gestures

-Past class participant satisfaction

-Instructor(s) education level

-Whether or not the instructor has had success with their own child(ren)

Proud Mama To

Toddler Math

American children don't score as well on mathematics tests as their peers in many other parts of the world. Find out how to help your little ones build up their math skills.

Every four years the National Center for Education Statistics conducts the Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study (TIMSS), which compares US fourth and eighth graders to students in other countries. In the 2003 TIMSS study, US fourth graders scored above average on the math test but were 12th overall out of 25, placing behind countries such as Japan, England, and the Russian Federation. American eighth graders also scored above average yet placed 10th of 35 countries participating and were behind such countries as Hungary, Korea, and the Netherlands.
How can we improve these statistics and get our kids to improve their math skills? Start early! Children as young as seven months may already be developing abstract mathematical concepts—much earlier than once thought, according to a recent Duke University study by Kerry Jordan and Elizabeth Brannon published in the February 2006 Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Wondering how you can help? Take a look at the following list of concepts and activities that are sure to make learning math fun for your toddler—before he even starts school.

Size

• Take a bucket of balls or other like objects of varying sizes. Have your child line the balls up across the floor. Next, ask your child to order the balls by size. Use words such as "small, smaller, smallest" or "big, bigger, biggest." Take this opportunity to compare two items: "This ball is bigger than that one." Or for more than two items: "This is a small ball. This ball is smaller than that ball. This is the smallest ball."
• Go on a size walk. Look for small and big objects and compare similar items: "That is a tall tree! Can you find a taller tree?"
• Draw a line down the center of several sheets of paper. Label each side of the papers with opposite words such as big and small, or tall and short. Cut out two each of opposite shapes or objects (cars, animals, and so on) to fit each category. Have the child place the cutouts on the appropriate papers. You can also have the child glue the object to the appropriate paper and appropriate side.

Volume

• Fill plastic shoe boxes with ingredients such as rice, dry mashed potatoes, water, and so on. Allow children to play with same-shaped sets of stacking cups by scooping and pouring the ingredients in and out of the cups. Discuss how many scoops of one size it takes to fill another. Use words such as more and less.
• Using the same boxes, provide various shaped and sized containers. Consider individual-sized milk containers, drinking cups, and tubes. Allow the child to explore the material by pouring and scooping the ingredients into the containers.

Geometry

• Label sheets of paper with standard shapes. Start with square, triangle, and circle. If the child is older, add rectangle, oval, diamond or rhombus, and hexagon (six equal sides).

Have cutouts of each shape in a variety of sizes. Have the child place the shapes on the correct paper. The child can also glue each shape to the correct paper.

• Cut out shapes of squares, triangles, rectangles, and circles in varying sizes. Allow children to create pictures on blank paper with the shapes.

Encourage using the shapes to create both concrete objects (people, trees, cars) and abstract objects (those that do not represent any known object).

• Take your child on a shape hunt. Glue one each of a triangle, square, rectangle, and circle on small note cards. Consider punching a hole in each card and placing the cards on a ring for easy access. Take the cards outside or through the house looking for common objects for each shape.

The cards serve as a reminder and reference. The adult can list on the back of each shape card what the child finds for the particular shape. Review the list once the game is stopped.

Numeration and Counting

• As you did with the shape hunt, take your child on a number hunt. Adjust the number range depending on the age and knowledge of the child.
• Cut paper plates in half like a puzzle. On one side of the puzzle write a number and on the other half, place objects of the same number. You can use stickers, Popsicle sticks, small pretzels, etc. Have the child match the written number with the number of objects.
• Cut cardstock into smaller pieces to resemble a deck of cards. On one side of each card write a number. On the other side place stickers to match. Have the child count the stickers, then flip the card to see if the correct number was guessed.
• Write numbers on the inside bottoms of paper or plastic cups. Have the child count and place objects equal to the written number into the cup. Cheerios make tasty counters.

Graphing

• Make a floor graph. Use colored pieces of paper or blocks to represent one unit. Have the child place a sheet of paper on the floor for each girl in the family. Select a different colored paper to represent the number of boys in the family. Place the lines beside one another. Discuss concepts of more and less, tall and short. Or: Collect a pile of toys. Graph the different toys (dolls, cars, and blocks) within the pile.
• Create or purchase a large piece of graph paper. Label with sunny, rainy, cloudy, snowy. Have the child color in one block for each day during the month that corresponds with the appropriate weather. Each label should be represented by a different color. Complete one graph for each month. Discuss concepts of most and fewest. This is an opportunity to also discuss that zero is a number. Or: Graph the different types of clothing included in one pile of laundry (socks, shirts, pants).

From Beethoven to Van Gogh, your toddler can learn a variety of cognitive and creative skills from the great masterworks.

Two-year-old Junie sticks both fingers in her ears and closes her eyes. Then she makes noises with her tongue. Devon, a three-year-old boy, steps into a puddle and watches mud ooze over his white tennis shoes. Then he jumps. Mud splashes onto his clothes and face. Immature? Yes. However, as these children explore the world around them, they soak up information at an unbelievable rate. Did you know that a child's brain has two times the neural circuits of an adult's brain? Junie discovers new sounds with her experiment, and Devon learns how mud feels and moves. This is exploration; this is creative learning.
"No longer do we consider the first five years of life to be a vast cognitive wasteland during which [the] brain undergoes an arrested development. The neural networks by which all future complex learning will be based are forged during this crucial early period and by a specific series of vitally important brain processes." This excerpt, taken from the article "Early Brain Development and Learning," by Kenneth A. Wesson, Education Consultant for Neuroscience, explains that toddlers and preschoolers are capable of learning more than parents sometimes think possible.

Meet the Masters

The Masters, all those famous artists whose works deck the walls of prestigious museums, and the composers whose music graces the air in theatres around the globe, have much to share with youngsters. If we limit children to modern art depicted in cartoons and picture books, or expose them only to early childhood music with easily memorized lyrics, we withhold the greatest works (and at a crucial time, when our children's brains are most active). The art of Monet, Van Gogh, da Vinci, and the music of Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Mozart are not too complex for youngsters.
"[Toddlers] are new to the planet," says Bette Setter, founder of the mobile art education program Young Rembrandts. "They have a big responsibility in decoding everything. Art and art images help children develop in their natural quest for knowledge."
With her students as well as with her own children, Setter notices that exposure to the arts at a young age makes children more aware of details. "They become whole thinkers," she explains. "And they keep the art images for life."
Sarah Herbert, early childhood teacher at The Center of Creative Arts in Missouri, explains that teaching children art and music through the works of the Masters encourages development of many skills. "When they are painting, they're becoming more autonomous." Herbert recognizes How can parents apply works of the Masters to early childhood education?

·  Hang prints on the wall at eye level so children can study famous paintings up close. Prints can be purchased in art stores, online, or checked out from the library. You can also find magnets, coffee mugs, and calendars that feature artwork by the Masters.

·  Discuss colors and shapes in the art. Can your child name the color or shape? Can he or she find another object of the same color or shape?

·  Talk about the distance of items in the print. Close-up items are larger than ones far away. Look out the window to see how this same concept is true in reality.

·  Identify items in the print. For instance, in Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh, a child can identify the stars, houses, trees, darkness, and even the wind.

·  Use descriptive words to discuss the prints. Help your child learn how to describe items with words.

·  Link art and life through literature. For example, read Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak. Discuss the emotion on Max's face when he is angry. Look at some of Rembrandt's sketches. What emotions do the subjects express? Ask your child how he expresses emotion.

·  For an easy-to-clean, finger-painting center, tape newspaper over a low windowsill, lay a drop cloth on the floor, and tape a piece of white paper to the window. A child can paint on the paper and the window. The natural backdrop, as seen through the window, may provide inspiration for your budding artist.

·  Dance to classical music with your child. Let him explore whole-body movement in any way he chooses. Encourage him with applause and supportive words.

·  Provide instruments for your child to mimic the syntax of music. Instruments can be as simple as a coffee can filled with dry beans or a wooden spoon and a pan.

Let's Talk Art

"The way a child thinks about her art is more important than the way you think about it," says Herbert. "Never impose limitations and never say, 'I'm not good at this.' It introduces fear. Never evaluate a preschooler's music, art, or dance. Make observations from fact. Say, 'there is a red circle,' or 'see these three red lines.' Evaluating may inhibit creativity or discourage a child."
The concept of children understanding art in their own way is not new. Charlotte Mason, a liberal-thinking educator in the late 1800s, wrote in her book Home Education, "We cannot measure the influence that one or another artist has upon the children's sense of beauty, upon his power of seeing, as in a picture, the common sights of life; he is enriched more than we know in having really looked at a single picture."
Parents cannot travel inside their child's brain and ensure that all the educational efforts they make are learned, stored, and applied appropriately. They can be certain, though, that introducing art and music, which have struck emotional chords in humans worldwide for centuries, will enrich an education. The developing mind of a child will soak up whatever it is surrounded with, so why not provide the best history and culture we have to offer?

Proud Mama To

Preschool sign language

Every parent knows that young children love movement and actions. When you sing songs and put actions to them, children always want to perform those actions. For example, when you see a child singing ‘The Itsy Bitsy Spider’ he or she automatically starts making the motions of moving the spider “up the spout” and having “the rain fall and wash the spider out”. Actions help children remember the words to the song because there is muscle memory involved. The more senses involved in learning; the greater memory retention the child will have.

Research has demonstrated repeatedly that children retain what they learn through fun, engaging activities that encourage the use of Gardner’s seven multiple intelligences:

1. Linguistic intelligence (sensitivity to meaning and order of words)

2. Logical-mathematical intelligence (mathematic and complex logic systems)

3. Music intelligence (music or rhymes).

4. Spatial intelligence (the ability to think in pictures)

5. Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (movement and doing).

6. Interpersonal intelligence (with other people).

7. Intrapersonal intelligence (individual learning). The use of American Sign Language (ASL) is a perfect way to supplement any preschool curriculum because it can be used with all of the multiple intelligences. In linguistic intelligence you always speak while making specific signs so students are being exposed to two different learning modes for one word.
With logic-mathematical, children can see a pattern of language and how it forms. Musical; you can add signs to common music or rhymes that the children already know. Bodily-kinesthetic; our hands are moving to make the signs so children can feel the words or letters.
In spatial learning, the child can see the sign being made. Interpersonal; the child can sign with a group, parent or teacher. And finally, with intrapersonal learning, the child can also sign when on his/her own when reading stories.
Well-known people are also beginning to realize that it is the early years of life that are crucial for future success. Laura Bush has stated that, “The years between diapers and the first backpacks will determine whether a child will succeed in school and make it to college.” First Lady Bush addressing the Senate Education Committee on January 25, 2002. Hillary Rodham Clinton asked physicians to suggest parents read to their young children, and she called for greater investment in children aged zero to three.
Children need a strong foundation to build on. We need to start educating and teaching our children at a very young age. Instill the love of reading and learning in them early so that it will stay with them throughout their lives.

Children and Learning

When children are taught English and ASL together they are processing language using both sides of their brains. They process verbal sounds on the left side of the brain and ASL as pictures and images on the right side of the brain, giving them two places to recall language from.
So, if language is an essential part of children’s development, and the use of multiple intelligences is important when teaching, it is the next logical step to include the use of ASL in the preschool curriculum. When ASL is used in combination with spoken language it reinforces the learning of educational concepts such as ABC’s, animals and other specific themes. Research shows that children find signing fun and it includes them in their learning process.
Dr. Marilyn Daniels, professor at Pennsylvania State University, designed a study with 16 hearing preschoolers who knew ASL. All but one of the children had deaf parents. She found they scored 17% higher on the tests she administered than hearing children who didn’t know ASL. Subsequent research studies with larger groups have found the same results. (Daniels, 2001)
ASL is such a beautiful language and can greatly benefit our preschool-aged children. I would like to encourage everyone to use ASL with young children to compliment their existing programs, be it in a library, daycare, preschool or at home. 

Proud Mama To

Toddler sign language

Toddler sign language can be used to develop social and language skills (even though they are a bit older than your typical infant). Toddlers can speak a few words, but still have many times when they are unable to express themselves to their satisfaction.

Many of the infamous “terrible two’s” tantrums are a result of complete and total frustration over the inability to express emotions or feelings. Toddlers can learn Toddler Sign Language, which makes communication easier and more effective. A child having a tantrum is a miserable as the parents feel trying to cope with the emotional rage. Anything that gives a safe outlet for emotional expression can only be beneficial.

Is it too late to teach my toddler signs?

Some parents wonder if Toddler Sign Language is appropriate to teach even after the child has begun talking. The answer is a resounding “Yes!” Toddlers typically have a pretty small vocabulary. Baby sign language, adapted to accommodate a toddler’s accelerated learning stage, can fill in the vocabulary voids. A toddler will happily and gratefully use both verbal and signing skills.

There are other significant benefits to teaching Toddler Sign Language. We all learn differently. Some people learn best through hearing, while others are more visual learners. Baby Sign Language uses both hearing and seeing to teach - the best of both worlds. A parent saying the word out loud and signing the word at the same time teaches a child critical learning skills in a way that best suits his or her learning styles. Signing with your toddler also improves IQ and language abilities.

Using sign language for toddlers has another benefit. It can help teach your toddler to learn to read. Toddler sign language helps a child connect the word gestures with printed letters. Signs help preschool children increase their vocabulary. Because the word is spoken while signing, phonetic sounds are taught. When using a book while signing, letters are taught. The development of these early literacy skills usually translates into exceptional performance in school, even at the preschool age. But research has shown these early skills benefit the child throughout their school years and not just preschool and kindergarten grades.

Toddler Signing and Language Development

Teaching Toddler Sign Language raises interest in spelling also! In addition, word recall is improved. If you teach baby sign language to your infant and expand the program to Toddler Sign Language, the result will most likely be a child who becomes a reader all his or her life.

No need to fear if you are concerned that teaching Toddler Sign Language will slow down your young child’s language skills development. In the toddler stage you can add more complex baby sign language words and add more complex sentences.

Teaching Toddler Sign Language is similar to teaching a second language to a child. Even as your child begins to talk more, you may still encourage the continued use of sign language. It is a legitimate language and having the skill throughout life gives your son or daughter an additional qualification for securing employment in the future! If you look ahead, the potential is unlimited.

As your toddler develops a larger vocabulary and begins to talk more and more, odds are he or she will typically start signing proportionately less and less. That is only natural. But many parents discover that infants taught baby sign language will naturally progress to Toddler Sign Language and beyond. Even at four and five years old, children tend to sign without thinking twice about it.

Toddler Sign Language can fill the vocabulary gaps and make it easier for your child to communicate. This is emotionally and intellectually satisfying for both parents and their toddlers.

Proud Mama To

Separation Anxiety

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

My baby is only happy when I’m withinarm’s reach. If I dare to leave the room, she cries as if I’ve left thecountry! I can’t even so much as take a shower these days, let alone leave thehouse without her. My mother-in-law says it’s because I’ve spoiled her. Is sheright? Have I made her so clingy?

Nothing you’ve done has“made” your baby develop separation anxiety. It’s a perfectly normal andimportant developmental adaptation. Nearly all children experience separationanxiety between the ages of seven and 18 months. Some have more intensereactions than others, and for some, the stage lasts longer than others, butalmost all babies have it to some degree.

The development of separationanxiety demonstrates that your baby has formed a healthy, loving attachment toyou. It is a beautiful sign that your baby associates pleasure, comfort, andsecurity with your presence. It also indicates that your baby is developingintellectually (in other words, she’s smart!) She has learned that she can havean effect on her world when she makes her needs known, and she doesn’t have topassively accept a situation that makes her uncomfortable. She doesn’t knowenough about the world yet to understand that when you leave her you’ll alwayscome back. She also realizes that she is safest, happiest, and best cared forby you, so her reluctance to part makes perfect sense ¾ especially when viewed from a survival standpoint.Put another way: You are her source of nourishment, both physical andemotional; therefore, her attachment to you is her means of survival, and whenshe reaches a certain level of intellectual maturity, she realizes this.

This stage, like so manyothers in childhood, will pass. In time, your baby will learn that she canseparate from you, that you will return, and that everything will be okaybetween those two points in time. Much of this learning is based on trust,which, just as for every human being young or old, takes time to build.

How do I know if my babyhas separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety is prettyeasy to spot, and you’re probably reading this section because you’veidentified it in your baby. The following are behaviors typically demonstratedby a baby with normal separation anxiety:

• Clinginess
• Crying when a parent is out of sight
• Strong preference for only one parent
• Fear of strangers (Also see Stranger anxiety, page XX)
• Waking at night crying for a parent
• Easily comforted in a parent’s embrace

How you can help your babywith separation anxiety

• Allow your baby to be a baby. It’s perfectly okay — even wonderful — for your baby to be so attached to you and for her to desire your constant companionship. Congratulations, Mommy or Daddy: It’s evidence that the bond you’ve worked so hard to create is holding. So politely ignore those who tell you otherwise.
• Don’t worry about spoiling her with your love, since quite the opposite will happen. The more that you meet her attachment needs during babyhood, the more confident and secure she will grow up to be.
• Minimize separations when possible. It’s perfectly acceptable for now ¾ better, in fact ¾ to avoid those situations that would have you separate from your baby. All too soon, your baby will move past this phase and on to the next developmental milestone.

• Give your baby lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when she can’t see them, she’ll feel better about letting you out of her sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help her understand this phenomenon.
• Practice with quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room, whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you’re still there, even though she can’t see you.
• Don’t sneak away when you have to leave her. It may seem easier than dealing with a tearful goodbye, but it will just cause her constant worry that you’re going to disappear without warning at any given moment. The result? Even more clinginess, and diminished trust in your relationship.
• Tell your baby what to expect. If you are going to the store and leaving her at home with Grandma, explain where you are going and tell her when you’ll be back. Eventually, she’ll come to understand your explanations.
• Don’t rush the parting, but don’t prolong it, either. Give your baby ample time to process your leave-taking, but don’t drag it out and make it more painful for both of you.
• Express a positive attitude when leaving her. If you’re off to work, or an evening out, leave with a smile. Your baby will absorb your emotions, so if you’re nervous about leaving her, she’ll be nervous as well. Your confidence will help alleviate her fears.
• Leave your baby with familiar people. If you must leave your baby with a new caregiver, try to arrange a few visits when you’ll all be together before you leave the two of them alone for the first time.
• Invite distractions. If you’re leaving your baby with a caregiver or relative, encourage that person to get your baby involved with playtime as you leave. Say a quick good-bye and let your baby be distracted by an interesting activity.
• Allow your baby the separation that she initiates. If she crawls off to another room, don’t rush after her. Listen and peek, of course, to make sure that she’s safe, but let her know it’s fine for her to go off exploring on her own.
• Encourage her relationship with a special toy, if she seems to have one. These are called transitional objects or lovies. They can be a comfort to her when she’s separated from you. Many babies adopt blankets or soft toys as loveys, holding them to ease any pain of separation. The lovey becomes a friend and represents security in the face of change.
• Don’t take it personally. Many babies go through a stage of attaching themselves to one parent or the other. The other parent, as well as grandparents, siblings and friends can find this difficult to accept, but try to reassure them that it’s just a temporary and normal phase of development and with a little time and gentle patience it will pass.

Thisarticle is an excerpt from GentleBaby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

Youare welcome to reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter,provided that you reprint the entire article, including the complete bylinewith author's name and book title. Please also send a link or copy to elizabeth@pantley.com. Thank you. Proud Mama To

I have been tagged!

My new friend Danielle  just tagged me! How fun!

The rules of the game: Each player answers the questions themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 4 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment letting them know that they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answers.

Ten years ago... I met my husband!

Five things on today's “to do” list...

• Teach a class
• go shopping with my friend
• take the kids to the pool
  
• get lesson plans together for the kids for the summer and for signing classes
  

Snacks I enjoy... Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, ice cream, cherries, grapes, avocado, and lots of veggies!

Things I would do if I was a millionaire... Give a ton to my grandparents, pay off my car, get a house, give some to local charities and businesses, and buy myself some clothes...since I have not gotten myself anything is over 10 years!

Places I have lived... New York (Syracuse, Liverpool, Castleton, Camillus, and Delmar), North Carolina (Morrisville)

I'm tagging:
Sara (Wee Hands)
(Parents Start Here)
Faten (The World As Seen Through My Child's Eyes)
Lib (Not Much More Than This)
Proud Mama To

First-Born Jealousy

ByElizabeth Pantley, Author of the No-Cry Sleep Solution and Gentle Baby Care

Question: Our first-born is showing extreme jealousytowards the new baby. He’s obviously mad at us for disrupting the predictableflow of his life with this new challenger for our attention. How can we smooththings out?

Think about it:Before the baby entered your family, your toddler was told he’d have awonderful little brother to play with, and how much fun it would be. Then thelittle brother is born and your toddler is thinking, “Are you kidding me? This squirming, red-faced baby that takes up allyour time and attention is supposed to be FUN?” He then “plays” with thebaby in the only ways he knows how. He plays catch. You yell at him forthrowing toys at the baby. He plays hide-and-seek. You yell at him to get theblanket off the baby. He gives the kid a hug, and you admonish him to be morecareful. Is it any wonder that your toddler is confused?

Teach:Your first goal is to protect the baby. Your second, to teach your older childhow to interact with his new sibling in proper ways. You can teach your toddlerhow to play with the baby in the same way you teach him anything else. Talk tohim, demonstrate, guide and encourage. Until you feel confident that you’veachieved your second goal, however, do not leave the children alone together.Yes, I know. It isn’t convenient. But it is necessary, maybe even critical.

Hover:Whenever the children are together, “hover” close by. If you see your childabout to get rough, pick up the baby and distract the older sibling with asong, a toy, an activity or a snack. This action protects the baby whilehelping you avoid a constant string of “Nos,” which may actually encourage theaggressive behavior.

Teach soft touches:Teach the older sibling how to give the baby a back rub. Tell how this kind oftouching calms the baby, and praise the older child for a job well done. Thislesson teaches the child how to be physical with the baby in a positive way.

Act quickly: Everytime you see your child hit, or act roughly with the baby, act quickly. Youmight firmly announce, “No hitting, time out.” Place the child in a time-outchair with the statement, “You can get up when you can use your hands in theright way.” Allow him to get right up if he wants – as long as he is carefuland gentle with the baby. This isn’t punishment, after all. It’s just helpinghim learn that rough actions aren’t going to be permitted.

Demonstrate: Children learn what theylive. Your older child will be watching as you handle the baby and learningfrom your actions. You are your child’s most important teacher. You aredemonstrating in everything you do, and your child will learn most fromwatching you.

Praise:Whenever you see the older child touching the baby gently, make a positivecomment. Make a big fuss about the important “older brother.” Hug and kiss yourolder child and tell him how proud you are.

Watch your words: Don’t blame everything on the baby. “We can’t go to the park; the baby’s sleeping.” “Be quiet, you’llwake the baby.” “After I change the baby I’ll help you.” At this point,your child would just as soon sell thebaby! Instead, use alternate reasons. “Myhands are busy now.” “We’ll go after lunch.” “I’ll help you in three minutes.”

Be supportive: Acknowledge your child’sunspoken feelings, such as “Things surehave changed with the new baby here. It’s going to take us all some time to getused to this.” Keep your comments mild and general. Don’t say, “I bet you hatethe new baby.” Instead, say, “It mustbe hard to have Mommy spending so much time with the baby.” or “I bet you wish we could go to the parknow, and not have to wait for the baby to wake up.” When your child knowsthat you understand her feelings, she’ll have less need to act up to get yourattention.

Give extra love:Increase your little demonstrations of love for your child. Say extra I loveyous, increase your daily dose of hugs, and find time to read a book or play agame. Temporary regressions or behavior problems are normal, and can be easedwith an extra dose of time and attention.

Get ‘em involved:Teach the older sibling how to be helpful with the baby or how to entertain thebaby. Let the older sibling open the baby gifts and use the camera to take picturesof the baby. Teach him how to put the baby’s socks on. Let him sprinkle thepowder. Praise and encourage whenever possible.

Making each feel special:Avoid comparing siblings, even about seemingly innocent topics such as birthweight, when each first crawled or walked, or who had more hair! Children caninterpret these comments as criticisms.

Take a deep breathand be calm. This is a time of adjustment for everyonein the family. Reduce outside activities, relax your housekeeping standards,and focus on your current priority, adjusting to your new family size.

Excerpted withpermission by NTC/Contemporary Publishing Group Inc. from Perfect Parenting,The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 1999

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth Proud Mama To

Moving from Crib to Bed

By Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution

When your childmoves from crib to bed it’s a milestone in his life as well as yours. There isno precise time for making this move, though typically it’s between the firstand third birthday. The key to success is to be patient and allow your childtime to adjust to the change.

Why move a child from crib to bed?

If a child sleepswell in his crib, don’t rush the change. Switching to a bed gives a childfreedom and brings new issues for parents, such as the yo-yo syndrome or earlymorning wanderings. The most common reasons to switch:

• Your child learns how to climb. --- Move your child out of the crib when the rail is up to the level of his nipples, since climbing out is more possible.
• Your child outgrows the crib. --- Don’t assume it’s time! You may think that he’s uncomfortable, but he may be content in his little nest.
• Your child asks for a bed. --- If she’s old enough, then go ahead and take the leap.
• Your child is learning how to use the toilet. --- Even if your child uses the toilet during the day, it’s often a long while before bedtime dryness happens.
• A new sibling is on the way.

--- If your little one loves his crib, then ousting him to make room forthe newcomer may add stress. If you feel that the time is right then make thechange two months or more before your newborn arrives.

What kind of bed should my child move to?

There are a numberof options for a child’s first bed:

• Toddler bed
• These are small, low and child-sized. They have guard rails on all sides, and come in playful designs.

• Regular bed A common choice is a mattress, box springs and bed frame (with all sides protected from fall-outs). Consider a double or bigger size to accommodate the night-reading ritual.

• Mattress on the floor A popular choice is a mattress or futon on the floor. This provides your little one with a big-kid bed, but one that prevents any painful falls.

• Bunk bed Hold off on a bunk bed until your child is 6 years old, when it is considered safe.

How do we make the change?

Which approach isbest for you will depend on your reasons for making the change, your child’spersonality, and the size of his room. Here are a few options:

• Big-kid bed hoopla Some children enjoy having an official Big Kid Day party. Set up the bed, decorate the room and add a few sleep-related gifts like books and stuffed animals.

• One-step-at-a-time

Take the mattress out of the crib and place it on the floor in the placeas the crib was. This gives your child the same sleeping surface and view ofthe room as he’s accustomed to. Place guard rails around the sides to create a crib-likeenclosure. Keep the same bedding and crib toys. This is a mid-step between thecrib and a real bed.

• The gradual introduction Set up the new bed in the same room with the crib. Allow your child to play on the bed and nap there. Do your bedtime reading in the new bed. This will help your child get used to the bed gradually.

Patience and encouragement

No matter which pathyou choose - be patient. Big steps toward growth often happen in spurts, andyour child may be excited to welcome the change one day, but wary of it thenext. Maintain your nightly bedtime routine and help your child develop apositive association with his new bed, since he’ll be sleeping there for manyyears to come.

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from TheNo-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by ElizabethPantley (McGraw-Hill, 2005) Proud Mama To